Things to know about dating an englishman

On an unusually sunny day in the workers paradise that is commonly known as the Netherlands, I’d just finished a run when I bumped into a Dutch friend of mine. “It’s great that in the Netherlands we also have the right to bare arms, just like the US,” I said laughing at my own joke.

The Shallow Man’s spontaneous witticism left my Dutch friend as cold as a Dutch woman asked to give up smoking.

My wallet is still here, and I know how much money I have so none of your light fingered tricks ok?

To paraphrase the title of a best selling book, Dutch men are from Mars, and British men are from Venus (the planet not the sexshop).

Huge towering tall men holding dainty little glasses of beer.

You’ll rarely see a drunken Dutchman (with the exception of King’s Day or after euthanizing a relative) as it would take them days to get drunk on the tiny little biertjes they drink.

The Dutch woman shouts “jump” and the Dutchman says “how high dear? The stressed Dutchman running over to his bossy partner who staring at him with withering contempt shouts “I SAID PETERSELIE (Parsley) THAT’S MINT, IDIOOT!!! I think it’s fair to say that there are two attitudes towards feminism in the UK.

There’s the right on, PC, sociology graduate types, who learned in university that if they made the right noises about women’s rights that they’d end up in bed with feminists.

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