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Stick to neutral subjects — like mentioning a common ground you share based on something you read in her profile.[pagebreak] INSECURE ONLINE DATERThe scenario: “It’s so annoying and a major turn-off whenever a guy has something in his profile like ‘still not sure about online dating but...’” — Randi, 25 The problem..the solution: We get it.

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Women are easily scared away online, so you should avoid saying anything remotely controversial or predatory.

There’s obviously a reason she didn’t think it would work out, so why keep trying to pursue someone who is clearly not interested in you?

Instead, channel your energy into meeting someone else. A general rule: once you’ve sent four messages back and forth, someone should ask someone out — preferably the man. [pagebreak] PRESSURE COOKERThe scenario: “I was really into someone I went on a few dates with, until he told me he was taking down his online dating profile and he wanted me to do the same.” — Jess, 34 The problem..the solution: Nothing will scare a girl faster than putting that kind of pressure on her too early into the relationship.

A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.

NOT-SO-SMOOTH OPERATOR The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?

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